Holiday Hoopla
As I type this, it is 3am and I am sitting in a Holiday Inn Express in Meridian, Mississippi that has the hardest bed known to man. Since that bed, and the aches and pains that come from driving halfway across the country, have induced insomnia in me, I thought I would be productive and respond to EDMC's request for holiday facts about me. So, here you go:
1. Apparently I have only one Christmas picture saved on my computer, which is why you get to see this picture for the second time in as many weeks.
2. As a kid, I was spoiled rotten, and Christmas was no exception. I have a very distinct memory of one Christmas waking up and being unable to get in the living room because it was lined wall to wall with presents (Don't worry, I have a brother and a sister, so I only got a third of a room of presents).
3. Somewhere in time that all changed and my family became money givers. In my teenaged years, family Christmas involved a big tree with dozens of envelopes under it in place of the brightly colored packages.
4. To this day, my all time favorite Christmas present is the Transformer Megatron. He was the one that transformed into a gun, and looked really real. Why don't we give kids great toys like this anymore.
5. My maternal grandmother's birthday was Christmas day. To that end, we always opened our extended family's presents at Grandma's house on Christmas eve, and then went back there during the afternoon of Christmas day to "celebrate" her birthday. I'm ashamed of how many times I resisted going and, failing that argument, retreated into a book or portable video game instead of letting that special woman know how important she was.
6. I once played Santa Claus in my High School Choir's Christmas Concert. Yup, I was always the fat kid, but it came in handy on this occasion.
7. My mother is the all time best decorator of Christmas trees. I don't know if it the result of a lifetime of collecting Christmas ornaments or one year of blowing the entire Christmas budget (knowing her I suspect the latter) but she has roughly 3,436 Christmas ornaments, and she somehow puts them all on the tree. It is this eclectic hodge podge of stuff and is probably the most garish thing you've ever seen, but it has always been the most beautiful tree to me (you'd think I would have a picture of it somewhere).
8. I am a fanatical proponent of artificial trees. Growing up, my family had this incredibly unique tree topper, a twirling multi-colored star that I would spend hours staring at. Every Christmas I would tell my parents that when they died that tree topper was the only inheritance I wanted (I was a morbid kid as well as being the fat kid). One year, my parents decided to shake things up and get a real tree instead of putting up their artifical one. Two days later, that real tree tipped over and shattered the tree topper. In the 20 years since, I have never found a replacement for it (not even at Christmas Town in Mobile, Alabama). Nature and I have been mortal enemies ever since.
9. Although there are parts of Christmas that I really enjoy (no school, anyone?), I detest the secretiveness of it all. The hushed conversations that suddenly stop when you approach, the talking in code, the not knowing what room you can enter and when; it all makes me feel like I'm the butt of some cruel joke, even though intentions are as pure as can be. Amazon.com is fantastic because I can check to see what items have been purchased for me and open my presents on Christmas morning without the trepidation that comes with the unknown (this year I am getting a portable hard drive, Buffy the Chosen Collection, and a gift certificate to Lone Star Comics).
10. Christmas is also difficult for me because it reminds me of how materialistic I am. Maybe it is a by-product of the rooms full of Christmas presents as a kid, but I can't seem to talk about this holiday without couching it in terms of what I am going to get. I wish it was a more spiritual event for me; that I could talk about it as the birth of Christ (although Biblical scholars say it probably isn't), or failing that, that I could be the generous person who lives up to the adage, "it is better to give than to receive," but deep down, I'm still spoiled rotten.
11. My parents were geniuses when it came to getting us to go to bed Christmas eve, or at least they thought so. After opening our extended family presents at our Grandma's house on Christmas eve, mom and dad would drive around neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights until our adrenaline levels subsided and we would trudge off to bed and sleep heavily. At some point, though, this failed to work on me (probably because I had consumed five pieces of Pumpkin pie). I stayed up virtually the whole night watching the Catholic Mass from St. Peters Basilica, which was the only thing on any of the three channels I got in my room (thank God for Cable), and listening to Santa swear up a storm as he tried to put my sister's bicycle together.
12. I've only got one more, huh? I could say that It's a Wonderful Life is one of the greatest movies ever and that I am a little sad that they released it in VCR form, thereby removing it from it's special place as a holiday tradition. As a matter of fact, that movie has really lost its special place in American culture as a whole over the last decade (darn Cable TV!), but all of that is kind of obvious and I'm in more of a sharing mood. Growing up, Christmas eve night was the only night of the year where I slept in a bed. My brother is adopted and is actually my cousin (it's a long story). Steven came to live with us when he and I were both five years old (I'm ten months older), and this was my first experience in learning that it is difficult to share a room with another person. Steven liked it hot and I wanted it cold. I wanted the TV on and Steven needed it off. Steven snored and I, well, probably did as well but he fell asleep more quickly. Almost immediately after Steven came to live with us, I would sneak out of bed and go sleep on the couch. After a while, the sneaking part became pointless, since mom woke me up in the morning, and it was just established that Paul slept in the living room. Christmas Eve was the only night I had to share a room with Steven, and those sleeping differences, combined with Pumpkin pie and Christmas morning anticipation made for a lot of Holiday induced insomnia.
And so we come full circle. It's 4 am, and I have no clue what to do until Jennifer wakes up, but I hope you all have a very merry Christmas, and sound sleep with visions of sugar plums dancing in your head.
1. Apparently I have only one Christmas picture saved on my computer, which is why you get to see this picture for the second time in as many weeks.
2. As a kid, I was spoiled rotten, and Christmas was no exception. I have a very distinct memory of one Christmas waking up and being unable to get in the living room because it was lined wall to wall with presents (Don't worry, I have a brother and a sister, so I only got a third of a room of presents).
3. Somewhere in time that all changed and my family became money givers. In my teenaged years, family Christmas involved a big tree with dozens of envelopes under it in place of the brightly colored packages.
4. To this day, my all time favorite Christmas present is the Transformer Megatron. He was the one that transformed into a gun, and looked really real. Why don't we give kids great toys like this anymore.
5. My maternal grandmother's birthday was Christmas day. To that end, we always opened our extended family's presents at Grandma's house on Christmas eve, and then went back there during the afternoon of Christmas day to "celebrate" her birthday. I'm ashamed of how many times I resisted going and, failing that argument, retreated into a book or portable video game instead of letting that special woman know how important she was.
6. I once played Santa Claus in my High School Choir's Christmas Concert. Yup, I was always the fat kid, but it came in handy on this occasion.
7. My mother is the all time best decorator of Christmas trees. I don't know if it the result of a lifetime of collecting Christmas ornaments or one year of blowing the entire Christmas budget (knowing her I suspect the latter) but she has roughly 3,436 Christmas ornaments, and she somehow puts them all on the tree. It is this eclectic hodge podge of stuff and is probably the most garish thing you've ever seen, but it has always been the most beautiful tree to me (you'd think I would have a picture of it somewhere).
8. I am a fanatical proponent of artificial trees. Growing up, my family had this incredibly unique tree topper, a twirling multi-colored star that I would spend hours staring at. Every Christmas I would tell my parents that when they died that tree topper was the only inheritance I wanted (I was a morbid kid as well as being the fat kid). One year, my parents decided to shake things up and get a real tree instead of putting up their artifical one. Two days later, that real tree tipped over and shattered the tree topper. In the 20 years since, I have never found a replacement for it (not even at Christmas Town in Mobile, Alabama). Nature and I have been mortal enemies ever since.
9. Although there are parts of Christmas that I really enjoy (no school, anyone?), I detest the secretiveness of it all. The hushed conversations that suddenly stop when you approach, the talking in code, the not knowing what room you can enter and when; it all makes me feel like I'm the butt of some cruel joke, even though intentions are as pure as can be. Amazon.com is fantastic because I can check to see what items have been purchased for me and open my presents on Christmas morning without the trepidation that comes with the unknown (this year I am getting a portable hard drive, Buffy the Chosen Collection, and a gift certificate to Lone Star Comics).
10. Christmas is also difficult for me because it reminds me of how materialistic I am. Maybe it is a by-product of the rooms full of Christmas presents as a kid, but I can't seem to talk about this holiday without couching it in terms of what I am going to get. I wish it was a more spiritual event for me; that I could talk about it as the birth of Christ (although Biblical scholars say it probably isn't), or failing that, that I could be the generous person who lives up to the adage, "it is better to give than to receive," but deep down, I'm still spoiled rotten.
11. My parents were geniuses when it came to getting us to go to bed Christmas eve, or at least they thought so. After opening our extended family presents at our Grandma's house on Christmas eve, mom and dad would drive around neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights until our adrenaline levels subsided and we would trudge off to bed and sleep heavily. At some point, though, this failed to work on me (probably because I had consumed five pieces of Pumpkin pie). I stayed up virtually the whole night watching the Catholic Mass from St. Peters Basilica, which was the only thing on any of the three channels I got in my room (thank God for Cable), and listening to Santa swear up a storm as he tried to put my sister's bicycle together.
12. I've only got one more, huh? I could say that It's a Wonderful Life is one of the greatest movies ever and that I am a little sad that they released it in VCR form, thereby removing it from it's special place as a holiday tradition. As a matter of fact, that movie has really lost its special place in American culture as a whole over the last decade (darn Cable TV!), but all of that is kind of obvious and I'm in more of a sharing mood. Growing up, Christmas eve night was the only night of the year where I slept in a bed. My brother is adopted and is actually my cousin (it's a long story). Steven came to live with us when he and I were both five years old (I'm ten months older), and this was my first experience in learning that it is difficult to share a room with another person. Steven liked it hot and I wanted it cold. I wanted the TV on and Steven needed it off. Steven snored and I, well, probably did as well but he fell asleep more quickly. Almost immediately after Steven came to live with us, I would sneak out of bed and go sleep on the couch. After a while, the sneaking part became pointless, since mom woke me up in the morning, and it was just established that Paul slept in the living room. Christmas Eve was the only night I had to share a room with Steven, and those sleeping differences, combined with Pumpkin pie and Christmas morning anticipation made for a lot of Holiday induced insomnia.
And so we come full circle. It's 4 am, and I have no clue what to do until Jennifer wakes up, but I hope you all have a very merry Christmas, and sound sleep with visions of sugar plums dancing in your head.
posted by Phylemon at 2:54 AM
5 Comments:
Just swinging by to wish you all a Merry Christmas!
Great post by the way - and I appreciate your continuing support of the Artificial Christmas Tree Society of America!
Merry(Mary,Marry-sorry my mind froze up) Christmas to the Hylemon's. This is from all of us.
I am not a big Christmas fan. However, I did agree to let a High School student video me sing about some "red nosed raindeer" for her Video Tech project at school.
This just simply proves that I am willing to make a fool of myself for any good or even not so good purpose.
If you're in Mississippi then you have to be really close to Christmas Town. Surely you stopped by. Hope they were open this time.
Hope you and Jen had a great holiday. We missed you guys at VRCC yesterday morning. We missed you at Carinos yesterday too. Hope to see you soon.
Kent
The holiday fact I wanted to hear was: What was the worst PoND Party gift you received? (Mine was a heavy-duty roll of aluminum foil, which I promptly "regifted" to my mother, who could actually use it.)
You weren't the one who got the day-old Big Mac, were you?
Dave,
The PoND Christmas Parties. I had so forgotten about those. I did not get the Big Mac, but I remember it fondly. I think I avoided receiving the really bad presents, although I will always be proud of giving Doug Chan the remainder of my skittles and coke concoction.
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