A Quick Funny

I can't believe I have sunk this low. I am short on time and material, so I'm going to share the unintentionally funny thing I heard on the radio this morning.

My local radio station has been asking listeners to call in and brag on their children. This morning a woman who was obviously excited to be on the air called to tell about her two children, a boy and a girl. She bragged about how each of them were well behaved and obedient. She listed their names and mentioned something specific each one had done to earn this compliment. She ended quickly, so the host tried to fill the allotted time by asking some questions about her two children:

Host: How old are your two kids?

Caller: Seven and Fourteen.

Host: And which one is older?

Caller: (Without missing a beat) The Fourteen year old one.

Host: *Stunned Silence* Thanks for your call, Sharon.

And we're home

So, the best laid plans of mice and men, I guess. As you know, on the second day of our wonderful spring break trip, I tripped (no pun intended) over the cord of my computer and boke the monitor. Therefore, the lack of updates. Now, I'm keenly aware that you don't care enough about my last week to want a moment by moment breakdown of the trip, but I've got nothing else to talk about and I'm really not ready to think about a lesson plan for my kids tomorrow, so I'll give you the thumbnail look at my week in Kitty Hawk:

Sunday

Jennifer and I spent most of the morning waiting for our luggage to show up, although we did so clothed (gosh, some of you really can't take a joke about nudity). By the time the luggage showed, I wasn't eager to go out, so we lounged around our pretty vacation home. This was when we learned of the one major drawback to the home:

The neighbors brought this beautiful canine on their vacation, however they decided to keep him out almost constantly. His barking was incessant, to say the least.

Monday

Today, we had the opportunity to be all nostalgic, driving around to familiar haunts. I showed Jennifer the department store where I always bought a toy on the way into town (although now it is a furniture store, darn progress). We also went to the Sea Foam motel and the trailer park where my parents kept a trailer in Rodanthe. We spent a lot of time on this day picking up shells on the beach. Finally, we stopped at the Bodie Island Lighthouse, which was really cool when I was a kid. Unfortunately, a lot of the kid friendly stuff had been removed, although my math geek of a wife found some interesting examples of conic sections, so it worked for her.

Tuesday

Today was the greatest day! It was a themed day around flight, starting with us accidentally visiting a new "frontiers of flight" memorial located where I thought the entrance to the dunes were (for the record, you should always trust your wife with a map over your 15-plus year old recollection when it comes to driving directions). Once we found the dunes, we flew a cheapy kite for several hours. I have no clue why this is fun, but it is incredibly fun and relaxing, especially on a Tuesday when you would normally be dealing with bored teenagers. We finished the day by visiting the Wright Brothers memorial, which was a strenuous climb if nothing else.

Wednesday

You shouldn't underestimate your own recuperative power. After the climb up the dunes and the Wright Brothers Memorial yesterday, Jennifer and I preemptively decided that today would be a day to relax and regain our strength, but we woke up feeling just fine. I finally got around to doing some grading while Jennifer tried in vain to find something crafty to do on her own. For dinner, we ate at Mako Mike's, which was only okay for food, but had a great environment, including the picture on the wall that you see above.

Thursday

Today we went to Roanoke island, which was not as mind-numbingly boring as one would suppose. LaRae asked if one could really see a colony that billed itself as lost, and the answer to that is apparently, "no". Below you will see a picture of Jennifer standing in what remains of the Lost Colony. Far more exciting was Festival Park, which included a replica of the Elizabeth II ship on which early settlers came to America. The park attendents did the always lame "I was born in 1542, so your world seems very strange to me," gimmick, but they were not as obnoxious about it as they could have been.

Friday

Today was all about getting souveniers and packing up. It was busy, but nothing blogworthy. Here is a picture of our cat Booger to make up for the fact that I have nothing interesting to say:

Saturday

Time to head home! There is a lot to go through on this day, probably enough for a separate blog entry. We stopped at Hardee's for breakfast and learned that the North Carolina public school system needs to do a better job of teaching basic math skills. We saw the Hampton Coliseum, the site of my high school graduation and, more importantly, my first live wrestling event. We spent several quality hours at the Newport News-Williamsburg "international" airport learning that our transportation headaches were fairly minor. We also had time to do a little nostalgic sightseeing, visiting my high school and this, my childhood home:




Yeah, it's pretty now, but imagine it without the flowers or swing, and instead with sunflower yellow siding everywhere that you see white. Oh yeah, baby, that's home.

Actually, here is home, and I'm thankful to be back.

We're Here, but we're Naked

Have I mentioned lately how much I loathe travelling? Our morning started officially when Joanna (the greatest friend in the world) picked us up from our house at 4:45am. That was the easy part of our trip. We arrived at DFW before 5:15 for our 6:30 departure, only to find the whole world in line to check in with U.S. Airways. Halfway through the Cattle call, the ticket agent opened a brand new line, which meant everyone who came in after us rushed over to this line and were checked in before us.

Security was, to put it mildly, thorough. After we removed our shoes and belts and cell phones and appendixes to put them through the X-Ray machine, I walked through the Metal detector with no problems. Jennifer, on the other hand, was missing part of her boarding pass, so she was forced back into the cattle call that is the U.S. Airways check in. Do you know that helpless feeling when you're separated from your loved one against your will? It isn't enjoyable. To make matters worse, as soon as I gathered my materials together, what did I find in between my wallet and my left shoe? That's right, the other part of Jennifer's boarding pass. Wanting to spare Jennifer the needless standing in line, I decided to be the sacrificial male and leave the terminal to find her, even though it would mean going through the heinous security again. For the record, if you ever want to play the part of the sacrificial male in a situation like this, don't ask the security person who just looked at your laptop warily where the exit to the terminal is. To them, this might seem suspicious. To make this really long story only a little longer, Jennifer and I found each other again, once more braved the harrowing security, and got to our gate with no time to spare.

Of course, no time to spare in aviation terms doesn't quite mean what you and I would mean by this. We got to the gate, were allowed on the plane, squeezed into the tiny little airplane seats, and sat in the sweltering plane for forty-five minutes on the tarmac. This, of course, made us late to our connecting flight in Philadelphia, a little two engine contraption with literal propellers. On the positive side, they held the plane for us. On the negative side, they didn't hold the plane for our luggage. So we are finnally here in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina and, as we understand it, our luggage is currently revolving around the baggage claim three hours away in Newport News, Virginia.

Notice how calm and relaxed Jennifer is in this picture. This was taken in the terminal at Philadelphia. She is so graceful under pressure, even when we thirty minutes late for a flight.

Now, this is Jennifer after dealing with the people of U.S. Airways about our luggage. It has been a difficult day to say the least. Tomorrow, since Jennifer and I will apparently have to be clothed in the only clean outfits we have, our birthday suits, expect lots of pictures of the Vacation home. Don't worry, we will watch out for mirrors. Until then, here are a couple of pictures to whet your appetite.

Spring Break or Bust!

About Wednesday of last week my principal sent an email out to all the teachers with that title in roughly 32 point font. You know you are taking a beating when even the public face of the school is ready for the break. My class is on autopilot until the Break, which starts at the end of the day on Friday for us. I've made copies and planned lessons, none of which are overly exciting, but all of which will keep the kids quiet and working until the bell rings at 3:45 on Friday. It's bad, I know, but this is the week that a tight leash has to be kept, because someone taught these kids that murder is acceptable as long as it happens the week before a big vacation.

Anyway, the real reason I am posting is to let you know about next week. From what I understand, our rental home has free hi-speed internet, which means updating shouldn't be a problem. If this turns out to be true, I will try to update daily like Andrew Deister does when he takes big trips. If this doesn't work out, I will give you a big post when I return. Until then, here is another picture, this one from the Kitty Hawk Memorial that Jennifer and I will visit sometime next week.

I'm a little down today, by the way, so pray for me if you get a chance. Okay, last North Carolina picture until next week. Here is a pretty Sunset overlooking one of the fishing piers.